The purpose of this hermeneutic phenomenological study was to understand how suicidal patients experienced their lives after attempted suicide. 10 participants were interviewed over a 5-month period about their experiences & feelings after their suicide attempts. 3 main themes were found: a) being controlled by others versus striving to live for oneself, b) being rebuffed by others versus seeking company & feeling loved, & c) wanting to leave family versus feeling responsible for family. These 3 themes were conceptualized under a broader theme of alienation versus connectedness. The influence of cultural values on feelings was also explored. (19 refs)