The author discusses the ambivalence of significant others toward the person who completes suicide. Her message to survivors is to take care of themselves; to put their own healing process first & not defend the victim at their own expense or at the expense of significant others or the truth. Chance says the suicide is “lousy problem solving” & that using suicide as a solution does not make a person “special” – it makes them incompetent. Being truthful about the suicide cannot harm the deceased.