Year: 2006 Source: Smith College Studies in Social Work, v.76, no.4, (2006), p.99-104 SIEC No: 20090730

This essay chronicles the impact of a patient’s suicide on the therapist, reflecting on the initial trauma, the therapists’s repeated attempts to deal with the loss, & her ultimate physical collapse. Time off from work began the healing of physical symptoms, & the spontaneous writing & immediate sharing of her raw & unformulated feelings with a writing group just joined began the process of grieving which, until this point, had only been known physically. Working & re-working the essay kept her safely, but affectively connected to the loss & gave her experiential understanding of the adaptive function of somatization, leading finally to the acceptance of the limitations of both patient & therapist.