This article provides a personal account of an individuals attempted suicide. The author discusses their personal history of suicidal ideation, attempts, & behaviour. The author examines the depression & isolation that she experienced before her suicide attempt. The author examines how she lost & found mental stability in her life. The article also examines the lack of value that a person who is suicidal can feel. The article concludes by discussing the guilt, anger & emotional pain that survivors often feel after a suicide. (AK)