First I attempt to satisfy recently expressed desires for a more nearly value-free definition of suicide. The 2 most promising candidates are then shown to suffer from being either too narrow or too broad. Next I argue that having such a definition (mine or anyone else’s) would strip away the very characteristics which prompted our initial interest in suicide. Therefore, I conclude that a value-free definition of suicide either cannot be formulated, or if formulated, it can have no relevance to subsequent moral considerations.