This book recounts the journey from a child’s encounter with mental illness & suicide to the adult’s quest for understanding the mysteries from 30 years ago. The author’s childhood was changed forever when his mother became clinically depressed. Five years later she completed suicide. The family had to face their own & society’s taboos about mental illness & suicide. Years later after his father’s death, the author discovered carefully hidden notes that helped him to understand what happened to his mother. This book is written for survivors of suicide & for those who have experienced mental illness, either first-hand or the illness of family members or friends.